Things I think about when I can't sleep
Here's a list of some of the things I think about when I can't sleep:
Why did Barbie get fired from so many jobs?
Why are some places called “historical” when every part of the world is the same age?
It must be incredibly hard for male peacocks to hide that they fancy someone.
Why doesn’t coffee just bite the bullet and declare itself a religion?
Why aren’t clocks in town centres not called the neighbourhood watch?
The thing I like doing more than anything in the world, will never feel as good as having just done absolutely anything at all.
Just once it’d be great if you ordered French toast in a café and instead of eggy bread you got a stirring speech about liberté, égalité and fraternité.
Where are all the Fabergé chickens?
Why do mime artists and burglars dress identically?
When will we finally accept that hanging mugs on mug trees is pottery jenga and not worth the rush of anxiety and stress for the minimal storage space it creates?
I absolutely could be a football goalkeeping coach.
There is no craft in photography; anyone can take a good photo of most things; it's all luck.
Where did all the pashimas go?
Somebody somewhere invented the phrase “Netflix and chill” unironically, and now they can't tell anyone.
Barbie and Ken’s genitals have been ambiguous from the start and no one had a problem with how they self-identified.
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